MCoy’s Dillemna

It was dark when I started

you could see that

my eyes were covered

my pitch was flat

the food was tasteless

a hazard at best

and in no time, life

moved like rest

 

it was glossy

and figured

to play out like that

it was tossing

and lingered

’till that last at bat

and all of a sudden

I could see it all

the horizon of timelessness

plastered the wall

 

Henry was torn

his legged sewn in pieces

and a ragged tail

following short

bye brother I said,

he said see ya, brother

and in a few years that’s what we did

 

my rent was close by

and my feet were free

it was all pretty good,

except hauling groceries

it went on awhile

and then the rust bucket

came with a bill

made me say fuck it…

 

so I went to the glass doors

with creases and bullets

and was soon enough proving

that I could commit

to a measly 4 years

and a country and another

and those guys in the green

pretended to be brothers

but I all I could see

with my steady pay check

was the spots on the glass

and the beer on tarmac

it was a life of leisure

it was a life of the oceans

where sand and bikinis

were never frozen

where the cliffs were steep

and broken forgiving

it was fantasy, real world

it was life that was pouring

from every moment

I wouldn’t even sleep

it was hedonism and pleadin’

for another drop deep

 

it was chasing and racing

and falling face flat

and all the while I’d run on through that.

I found out on Fridays I could run for 2 hours

through red clay and jungle and all kinds of large spiders

and by moonlight the bats could carry you away

but I ran anyway, never afraid

 

I’d meet a strange room, where I wasn’t welcome

and soon have them drinking and laughing at one

of those lame jokes, see, I was no threat

and we all wanted safety, we gave it a rest

 

some were lazy,others just drunks

some were quiet, guilt ridden monks

some were stabbers, they’d see your back

and when they were done, you’d never come back.

 

soon I was laying and standing and writhing

she was confused by the life she’d been riding

so she said goodbye and I was just there

and I have a thing for long, brown hair

I never knew why, I still don’t

but there I was never saying I won’t

it was all full of yesses and it will work out

now I can say that, but I can’t quite shout out

because when I flew off and she told me goodbye

it took awhile , hell, it was only sky

between us, but in that case it was too long

I should have known and just kissed her so long

instead I was one place, but torn to another

I passed on those two years

and then passed on another

and that angel came to me and put up with this crap

and now she is just hoping I’ll cry in her lap

and fall asleep right there- undisturbed

because her happiness lifts me, and that unnerves

and sends me running- fear hijacked

the buttons

my wiring is crossed

filled with delusion

which I can’t see, I can’t even be fooled

the doctor tries, he’s got the tools

but I cannot wield them, I drop them, forget

so I think it’s getting better,

she screams, “not yet!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s